One Year

December, 11 2022

Wow! It’s been a year already? This morning I have been reflecting on it all. Nothing has changed, and yet everything has changed. I hope I haven’t changed as a person. I still strive to help others have a great SCA experience. I still help my Shire. I’m still a friend to those I was before. If I have changed any in that way, I don’t see it so I hope I haven’t, at least not changed for the worse.

Things that have changed? I am more careful with my words now, especially when saying anything that could be taken as negative. If I have feedback, I make sure the person wants it and at what level. I am trying to be more of a resource since it was only since I was elevated, I really saw how far I had come. Striving to bring anyone who wants to up to my level as quickly as I can so they can launch off and really show what magicians can do.

Events are different as well. I am more aware when eyes are on me and that it happens more often. This is weird because I thought I was pretty noticable to begin with. I have people coming up to show me what they are working on randomly now which had never really happened before. I love this because it lets me celebrate their work and passion. I’ve had a couple people that were bitter over my elevation indicating it should have been them, not implying I shouldn’t have been elevated, just that they were in line before me. This is hard to hear since it runs right into my imposter syndrome so I tend to agree. The only thing I can do is remind them that it is the orders and the royals that make those decisions.

So what’s next? Building my household. Being the type of peer I like seeing. Helping others. Using my knowledge to help the next group be better than the last, or at least have an easier time of it.

It’s still going to be a while until I can address all this without crying.

There is No Spoon

October 8, 2021

Even though I have been told many times, especially in recent days, that there is no “list” on what it takes to become a Laurel, I find myself revisiting the list I created in my mind. Specifically I am remembering the things on my “list” that I still haven’t done. Lucky for me they can join a different list and I can still enjoy them, that would be my bucket list. Still, the thoughts persist so I am going to talk about them here.

#1 Kingdom Arts and Sciences
One of my longest held beliefs is that I would never be a Laurel if I didn’t enter and show well in a Kingdom level A&S (Arts and Sciences) event. Believe it or not I have never entered one let alone placed well. Technically, as a Laurel, I could enter the next Kingdom A&S as a novice (I would never) since I have never entered one before. I think this comes from a mistaken impression that this is the only way to get people to take your art seriously. I have run into one big problem with entering Kingdom level A&S events, I don’t do enough things. You have to enter 3 grand categories and I really only can do 2, or at least only want to do 2. I have tried to branch out multiple times and never enjoyed it so I went back to performing and researching magic. I haven’t enjoyed anything else so far that would make a suitable A&S entry.

#2 Travel to Other Kingdoms
I’m not sure where this idea came from but I was convinced the Laurel would never happen without me attending at least a couple of out of Kingdom events. As of this writing I never have been to an event in another Kingdom, it just never had panned out. Since, in my mind, I still had time before I would be considered I wasn’t too worried about it. I would eventually make Battlemoor, Great Western War or even Gulf Wars with my Laurel Master Bart. This was probably the weakest item on the list since I was sure it was possible to get a Laurel without out of Kingdom travel but I was sure I didn’t travel within the Kingdom enough either.

#3 Time
I just received my Key Cross last year and “everyone knows” that its a minimum of 5 years from when you get your Key Cross until they consider you for Laurel. This misperception comes from observation, or at least perception. It seemed a person needed to have received a Key Cross a while ago before they were put in for Laurel. It seemed to make sense, it followed the patterns I had witnessed.

#4 Skill
Thanks to my wonderfully powerful imposter syndrome this one will always be the hardest. I always perceived there is a certain skill level needed for being a Laurel and, until current events proved me wrong, I was just not there yet. I watched many Laurels carefully, especially the new ones so I could compare my skill with theirs, a difficult task being the only practicing magician at the moment. I just didn’t have the chops to pull off Laurel level art. Even with a Kingdom Bard win under my belt and my skill increasing since then I still didn’t believe it. It feel this is one area I will still struggle with after I am elevated and will have to learn to accept that I am good enough.

So there it is… my list of things that are totally not on the list of requirements to be a Laurel. They are now bucket list items, things I will do because it sounds fun… Oh, wait, that’s what I was doing in the first place.

How Do I Explain This?

September 23, 2021

As I am still working on understanding all that just happened…and trying to make it one day without tears, I keep running into this issue. How do I explain these moments to someone outside the SCA? For me it is a big step in the journey that started almost 30 years ago in a little Shire called Gryphon’s Lair. I played off and on for years until spurred and inspired back into it 11 years ago. I had finally gathered a proper heavy fighting kit and *BAM* medical issues stopped me from ever fighting again. I was really starting to enjoy myself so I didn’t want to leave and threw myself into other roles, at the time primarily magic and marshalling. Many in the SCA have seen my journey, at least the more recent parts so they have some idea. They see other elevations and what goes with it and have some understanding. But what about those who have barely had a glimpse of what goes on and I don’t think really get it. They are confused when I tear up just trying to explain what is happening and the elevation coming up. I am still coming to terms with a double elevation, reflecting on all the work I did, reassuring myself it isn’t a mistake, but this question is one that keeps coming up in my mind as I sort through it all.

At the End…And the Beginning

September 19 2021

So it has finally happened. I am officially on vigil to be a Laurel….and a Pelican. Wait…what? Somehow I got tapped for both at the same time. I barely feel ready for a Laurel and the Pelican was way out of left field. This whole situation is both wonderful and confusing as I try and process it all.
As many who know me have seen I have been actively pursuing a Laurel for many years, almost from the time I found out I couldn’t ever fight again. It was a long and difficult road full of uncertainty with some scatterings of disappointment and surprises. I forged forward with an art which was underrepresented in the Kingdom which was both a great choice and a total pain in the rear. Most artisans had someone else within the Kingdom to draw from for help, inspiration, advise, and resources. I had to pull from outside the SCA since no one in the Kingdom did magic, or at least they didn’t really perform where they could be seen.

Now, the Pelican. WhAt?!? I am still asking others about this one just because I don’t see it. From where I sit there is a much different view about my service in the SCA. I am trying really hard to understand what others see because this really hit me hard and I’m struggling to figure it out.

This whole journey is going to take a lot more time to process and even more before I can write anything coherent enough to be of any help to anyone. For now I will just post a bunch of thank you’s to those who made this possible.

First, my wife, of course. She is the one giving me the space to go to events and to chase my magic. She is my biggest fan and best critic, pushing me to do better with every turn. She doesn’t let me sit around on my success, making sure I am working on something at all times. Without her support none of my dream would be possible.

Ulvarr  and Kiyome. More love and support. They have seen all the good and bad and still stick with me. So much love for these two and all they do to support not only my art but me as a person.

Richard Hatch. My magic teacher and mentor. He has worked with me for many years helping me improve my craft. Any time I get to see him perform I learn something. Every time he gives me feedback on my performance I get better.

Hiro and Tatianna. Another family that supports me all the time. Plus they have kids I can inflict my magic upon. Mwahahaha.

Sir Bart. His help guiding me through the SCA has been invaluable. I have grown so much since he took me on as an apprentice. Watching and listening to him has helped me get more joy out of the SCA as well as hone my focus.

The Shire of Cote du Ciel. The best Shire in the Known World. It’s nice to have a home away from home with these folks.

There are so many people who have helped, influenced and supported me. I hope each of you knows how much I appreciate it.

August 06, 2020

So the Ren Faire was cancelled, wasn’t a big surprise I just wish they hadn’t waited until the last minute. I was happy my show was ready to go because other opportunities had come up to use the material I developed. That of course was the Bard of Artemisia competition.

I really feel I wasted an epic trick on the attempt, the egg story would have been so much better in person. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to do the trick with but there is just something more magical in person rather than on a video. I am pleased that it has more views than the other performances and I don’t think the decision was wrong, the winners song was epic. I just think I would have had a better chance in person. I will have to think about doing it for the next year.

I did get my Key Cross which is the grant level award for Arts and Sciences (A&S). I find it weird because my grant level award for service was over 3 years ago and I am much more heavily involved in A&S than I ever have been in service. I’d almost call myself lazy when it comes to events and running things. This of course is the next step to becoming a Laurel, a dream I feel moves further off the closer I get. My magic is still getting better and I still have plans for some epic illusions but I don’t see where I will ever do enough to get recognized at a peer level.

May 25, 2020

So it finally happened, I got asked to do my magic at a pretty good sized Ren Faire. I was already starting to put together an Italian outfit for more public performances and this accelerated the process quite a bit. I have less than 2 months to revamp my whole show and make sure it’s contactless as well as new material and new costuming. I fortunately have help on that last part. Still, it’s a lot to do in a short time. I am not changing my SCA persona, just getting a costume for performance. At Ren Fairs I will have a new character, Cosimo the Conjuror. Should be fun and exhausting.

February 24, 2020

Queen’s prize was a mess for me. I was in a bad spot that made it look like I wasn’t part of the display. I did my best to bring people over but I should have spoken up and gotten myself moved but I didn’t. I also got no feedback until later and none that was direct. I’m not sure why this happens but it is deeply frustrating. I hear people complain about getting harsh feedback but I can’t seem to get any.

I am looking into getting in the Arts and Sciences competition this year, but as usual, the info is scarce so I better get looking. I am finally getting some help with the carving portion of my arts but only on the third time I asked.

It looks like I won’t be able to afford the training I was hoping for so I will have to figure something else out. I am against go fund me type things so unless something changes the training is off.

I have started work on my next trick, a classic of magic that was first done in the middle ages. It is one of the tricks that can be Kingdom Bard worthy if I can get the story right and the mechanics of the trick down. It’s exciting to be back on working on a project again and having a sense of purpose even if I can’t get things to go SCA or training wise.

January 1, 2020

It’s been almost a year since my last post. I didn’t end up competing for Kingdom Bard because the finals were being held in Montana and it wasn’t being announced who was in the final until the event was half over. So I decided the many hours of driving wasn’t worth it if I didn’t even know if I would be competing.

So why the long time between posts? Because I did nothing new this year. I did not advance my art, I did not advance my skill, I did almost nothing notable in regards to magic this year. I can make excuses as to how hard life was this year but they are only excuses. I have my eyes set forward however and have several things I will be working on this year.

First, I am going to work more on storytelling pieces. I have one I will be doing in a few weeks at a Queens Prize event. I feel like my storytelling skills are pretty good and with some practice, they will improve making the magic stronger.

Second, I am hoping to train with one of the best cup and ball artists in the world and improve my favorite piece of magic. It will come down to a matter of money and timing and I am crossing my fingers for luck in both.

Third, I am trying to get in the habit of daily practice. So far I have had no success but the drive is there and I really do need to start improving if I want to do anything else with my magic. I still have my sites set on finally getting a Key Cross (Grant level arts award) and maybe someday becoming a Laurel. None of that will happen without daily practice.

So there you have it, my plan for the year. As always I welcome questions and comments and I’m happy to make this as interactive as my audience would like.

January 27, 2019

Six months seemed to go too fast and I handed off the cloak to someone worthy of wearing it. It almost seemed like a dream as I initiated my Bard Tokens in an effort to fill events with songs, stories and a general air of authenticity. A new competition has started and once again I am trying for the cloak. It’s different this time as I have new obstacles to overcome. The first time I didn’t think it was possible, this time I know it’s possible but that the first time might have been a fluke. I know it isn’t true but convincing my imposter syndrome I earned it the first time is hard. This time I started with a card trick, one of my best. We will see if it was good enough for getting into the final round. Practice has already begun for a final round even if I don’t make it.

July 19, 2018

Of course, my journey to become the Bard of Artemisia began almost a decade ago but the part that concerns this story began in March of 2018. I wanted to give the Bard of Artemisia competition a fourth try since I am always trying to get better with my magic. I performed my signature piece (Cups and Balls) for their majesties and felt it went well. It is the piece I am most comfortable with and it shows off quite a few moves as well as some comedy and showmanship. It went well enough to put me into the top 3 for the competition and that’s where the trouble began. I had a month to prepare and was scheduled for surgery a few days before the final performance would take place.

Creativity comes from constraint – Biz Stone

Since the surgery was going to be on my jaw I would have a hard time talking much less projecting my voice to be heard by the populous. A lot of times these performances are outdoors so you need to project well to be heard. It was at that point I knew I had to come up with a silent piece or a piece set to music and no talking. I chatted with my wife about suitable music and had her listen to several songs that weren’t quite what I was looking for. I needed upbeat music that wasn’t too fast. She put me onto a song called Rye’s Melody which fit all the parameters I needed. Upbeat, medium-slow speed, and around 3 minutes. At that point, I put the song into my phone and was listening to it constantly, usually 3-4 hours a day. The goal was to know the music so well I could tell where in the music all the changes came and I would never get lost while hearing it.

While the musical journey was going on I was also contemplating the type of magic I would do. In January I took a Master Class from one of the top magicians in the world and had been progressing quite well in the techniques I was learning. Since it was markedly different from any other magic I had done at this point I decided I would try to use it for this competition. I had a rough idea for the progression of events that were to happen in the performance so I brushed up on the methods I would need and created a couple props that were suitably medieval. It took about a week to get everything prepped and performance ready.

 It was a month until performance time, all the props were ready, and the music was set in my head. So far these parts had not been put together in the real world, only in my head. I was blown away after my first run through of the performance. It was just a run through to identify where the music cues were in relation to the magic but even the first time I did it the whole thing came together and I was already hitting cue marks I didn’t realize matched up. Magic and music were acting as one from the first try. It didn’t stop there, I performed it again, and again. My first practice session was four hours because I couldn’t get over how perfectly everything went together.

I spent the next month practicing, a minimum of two hours a day and sometimes as many as six. Practice it until you get it right and then practice it until you can’t get it wrong. Another thing happened at the end of my first week of rehearsals, I entered a flow state. If you don’t know what flow is I encourage you to research it but here is the quick explanation: “The mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting loss in one’s sense of space and time.” I have never entered flow while doing magic but once this piece came together I did. It was thrilling to me that it could happen with my magic since I long ago quit the activities that had allowed me to experience flow. It made the practice time pass quickly as I was always excited I might hit my flow state again. It didn’t always happen but it was a treat when it did.

The month passed in a blur of preparation and the day arrived. The surgery didn’t happen but by the time I knew it was postponed I was too committed to this new performance I wasn’t going to switch. The performances were going to happen during morning court and the results announced at evening court. I remember the beginning of morning court and being called up to perform, asking the crown’s permission to perform, moving over to set up and giving the signal for my music to start. I immediately went into a flow state. I don’t remember most of the performance, just the feeling that everything was going right, I was hitting my cues and the magic was happening like it was supposed to. I remember looking out into the crowd and seeing smiles, I remember one of my friends reacting so strongly to the appearance of the first colored ball I could hear him across the crowded room. I remember the room exploding in applause as my performance came to an end.

After court had ended I had several people come over and congratulate me on my performance. It was typical and I didn’t think much of it because, being my own worst critic, I knew I had lost but there was always next time. I was able to shake off my “loss” quickly and enjoyed the day hanging out with friends and watching the excellent fighting that would determine our next King and Queen. Evening court came eventually and I went to show my support to the new Prince and Princess as well as the new Bard of Artemisia. I was sitting and watching as the current bard performed and handed over the cloak to be passed on. I heard them call the bards who competed forward and the three of us knelt. I listened as they King and Queen talked about how hard the decision was. They announced the winner and I looked over at the other bards to see who smiled, the clear winner, and they were looking at me. I looked up at the crown, they were looking at me. The world went into a tailspin at that point since in my mind there was no way I could have won, but there it was, the cloak being shown to me, the other bards taking their leave and the King and Queen congratulating me, putting the cloak on me and the herald presenting me to the kingdom as the new Bard of Artemisia. Again my memory is spotty since I was prepared for every result but this one. My mind still swirls with what it all means. I have seen many of the Bards of Artemisia perform and I still feel they made a mistake but I do the best I can with the honor they bestowed on me.

I am still thinking about how I won, why I won and why I cared so much. I think I wanted to win because I felt different than the other bards, not really “one of them”. Not from anything they have said or done but by the nature of my craft. The lone magician in the entire kingdom for so many years. I was never kept apart from the other bards but I never quite fit in either. I may never quite fit in but that’s what happens when you do something so different from everyone else. I have noticed a shift in the attitudes about my craft. It may be because I won, it may be because my magic is fundamentally different than when I started. I will continue to ponder what it all means and the next steps I want to take as I continue to perform and represent my Kingdom. Someday this experience will sink in and I will figure out what lessons are to be gained but in the meantime, I will continue to look in my closet to see the cloak and confirm it wasn’t all a dream and I somehow became the first wizard Bard of Artemisia.

June 5, 2018

Greetings My Lords and Ladies, I am Aslak the Awful, a magician in the Kingdom of Artemisia. If you don’t know about the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) I welcome you to discover the current middle ages (sca.org).

I have been in and out of the SCA for 25 years but my current run is about 10 years old now. I found out I couldn’t fight anymore so I turned to magic as a way to stay involved and this is a partial record of my journey. I will post memories and information about the history of magic as well as what I am currently doing. I won’t reveal the methods I use but I will talk about the process of learning new things and perfecting the old. Feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will do my best to answer them. Welcome to my magical journey.